"...the most sincere journey into the absurd I've ever encountered."

- Patrice Janda

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                                 27 orbits ago…                            

 

                               ...the entire planet of Frank was faced with a catastrophe that threatened their very existence. At                         the last possible moment, however, three alien beings, known simply as “The Elders”, arrived on the                 planet and rescued it from extinction. The exact nature of the catastrophe is unknown, but owing to the rescue, the Elders became near gods to the citizens of Frank. They then used this adulation to launch a chart-topping music career.

 

In Part One: The Elders Live From the Planet Frank, you hear an archive recording of a historic concert performed at the very height of their fame. Immediately after this performance, The Elders mysteriously disappeared from Frank and were never heard from again.

 

Part Two: The Chet Lambert Show is a recording of the final episode of this mildly successful daytime variety television show featuring the standard fare of celebrity guests and performers. The show was taped in New York and ran from 1970-72. Very little is known of Chet Lambert himself, nor of the show’s producer, Jerry Smear. On October 3, 1972, its final episode was recorded, capped by a surprise performance by a previously unknown vocal group. Immediately after this broadcast, Lambert, Smear, and the vocal group mysteriously disappeared, and none of them have ever been heard from again. 

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THE ELDERS LIVE FROM THE PLANET FRANK

THE CHET LAMBERT SHOW

INTERMISSION

“The incomparable Lane Anderson” was a singing sensation in the early 70’s, and this rendition of the Carpenters’ hit “Superstar” shows why, with her silky voice and trademark poetic asides.

No variety show of that era would be complete without the obligatory animal act. Goldfarb’s amazing menagerie entertains, if perhaps being guilty of some stereotypes we have since outgrown.

To the cheers of the largest crowd ever assembled on the planet  Frank, The Elders descend dramatically from the night sky, seeming to fly of their own accord, and the harmonies of the group reverberate off the great mountains.

Mathematics is a revered art on Frank, and after the Great Leader is finished, the Elders return to the sky and delight the crowd with their mastery of logic, deduction and impeccable science.

The Great Leader speaks in an ancient language which has never been translated, but sounds like a             piano to human ears. Only from crowd reactions can guesses be made as to the content of the Great Leader’s oration.

The Battle of        the Tapirs has been legendary on Frank for many generations. Of course, no one who was there is still alive today, but through song, dance and storytelling, this historic event will never be forgotten.

The traditional entertainment parade regales the adoring crowd with the Elders' biggest hit,      dancers, a masterful music box solo, and countless delightful surprises.

As catastrophe looms ever nearer, the people are in a state of great terror. Alas, it appears to be too late. Panic ensues; the planet Frank is in chaos. Claxons ring out over the entire world, and the end is upon them.

Who knows how we might shape the years that folllow

If we simply dodge a bullet or a beam?

Our odyssey concludes with both the Elders and Chet Lambert. Yun!*

* “Yun” – Interjection common on the planet Frank. While there is no exact translation, depending on context it can be translated as “Amen,” “Look out!” or “Isn’t this wonderful?”.

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